“Opinion: Cultural trend of sending children back to homeland can cause trauma - San Jose Mercury News” plus 1 more |
| Posted: At this very moment there are thousands of people dealing with severe trauma completely unbeknownst to them. As a psychotherapist, I feel compelled to alert families, and young immigrant couples in particular, to the peril of separating the child from the parents at a very young age. I refer to the practice of young immigrant parents sending their child, often under age 1, thousands and thousands of miles away to be raised by grandparents in another country for an extended length of time. Working in the culturally diverse Bay Area, I have had opportunities to hear about, witness and deal with the long-term effects of this phenomenon. Sadly, it is not a decreasing trend. And my experience is that the parents often minimize and deny the inherent trauma of the separation. I have observed this practice more often in communities and cultures that have traditional values associated with extended families and multiple mothering. Young immigrant families sometimes find themselves overwhelmed by caring for their baby in a culture far from their own. By "far," I mean distance both in terms of geography and of emotional and cultural difference. The child is temporarily raised by grandparents or extended family while the young parents work and study toward a better quality of life -- more time and money and the long-term interests of the family. In my experience, this separation happens more often in Asian, South Asian and Middle Eastern cultures. In these cultures, almost everyone knows someone who has sent their child "back home" for a few months to a year or two.As cozy as the phrase "back home" may be, the reality is that the child is very far away, and the parents and child cannot be together for months at a time. The parents do consider the physical safety of the child, the trustworthiness of the grandparents, the probability of the child being surrounded by a network of loving family members, the difficulty of trusting child care here, and the parents' own heartache. What they do not often account for is the break in the attachment of the child -- first from the parents, and then again from the grandparents. The difficulty in making this decision may not leave room for the parents to carefully consider the emotional cost. Parents may be overwhelmed by immigration procedures, the separation from their own families, the task of raising children without the family network they depended on, and by financial pressure. They may be unable at the time to consider the emotional life of the child. There is often contact during the separation by phone, by video conference or by brief visits. These visits further traumatize both parents and child. Sometimes the mother realizes that the child does not remember her and leaves before the child reattaches to her. Sometimes the parents report that the child will refuse to talk to them on the phone. There have even been instances in which the mother and child no longer have a language in common -- the child forgets the mother tongue and adopts the language of the grandparents. I consider these children twice disrupted in the attachment process, and would expect them to have much in common with adopted children. A conscious awareness of all the factors involved may not change every individual decision, but more conscious awareness of the trauma for the child may lead to a more balanced decision. KALPANA ASOK, M.A., M.F.T., is an adult and couples psychotherapist practicing in Cupertino. She wrote this article for this newspaper. This entry passed through the Full-Text RSS service — if this is your content and you're reading it on someone else's site, please read our FAQ page at fivefilters.org/content-only/faq.php |
| Cotton Tree: Year-Round Sketch Classes Draw Cultural Travelers - Yahoo Finance Posted: Press Release Source: Cotton Tree On Tuesday February 15, 2011, 10:00 am EST GEORGE TOWN, CAYMAN ISLANDS--(Marketwire - 02/15/11) - Experienced and beginning sketch artists will find artistic inspiration and the perfect way to relax at Cotton Tree, the Cayman Islands' first boutique cottage hotel, where on-site classes led by a local artist provide a picturesque instructional brush-up amid the beauty of Cotton Tree's lush gardens on the Caribbean Sea. Sketch classes at Cotton Tree include all materials and instruction from professional local artist John Broad, a West Bay artist born in England, educated at the Edinburgh College of Art, and a resident of Grand Cayman. Broad has held many successful shows and is perhaps best known for "Speed Painting," where he paints a scene on site. Under his expert guidance, sketchers will receive instruction in drawing skills and a demonstration of the artist's materials including pencils and water brushes. Classes are conducted at various points of interest throughout the property where the verdant gardens, jewel-toned Caribbean seas and the architectural details of the hotel's collection of pastel-hued Caribbean cottages serve to inspire and stir the creative senses. There is also the opportunity to practice Still Life drawing using objects found on Cotton Tree's natural beach and in the gardens. Self-critique and discussion, as well as suggestions for development and practice points conclude every session. Visiting sketchers are given their own sketchbook to take home as a keepsake of their experience and as a memento of their time at Cotton Tree. Sketch classes are two to four hours in length and cost US $85.00 per person, per hour. Classes are available year-round with the exception of September, and subject to instructor availability. All materials are provided.
Concierge services are also available to guests seeking to customize a personalized vacation, as are in-cottage catering and sommelier services, as well as wedding and business services. US rates start at $330.00 per night, excluding 10% in government tax. For more information about Cotton Tree or to make a reservation, visit www.caymancottontree.com. Follow Yahoo! Finance on ; become a fan on Facebook. This entry passed through the Full-Text RSS service — if this is your content and you're reading it on someone else's site, please read our FAQ page at fivefilters.org/content-only/faq.php |
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